Monday, March 5, 2012

Like the sun misses the breeze

My birthday has always been a big thing to me. I am always super excited for my birthday that a few months before it, I start reminding people that my birthday is coming up already-- well, except this year.

This year, is the weirdest birthday I've ever had because my mom's no longer with me. To be truly honest, I didn't even know what I was supposed to feel for my birthday. Part of me wanted to be happy (just because I'm always happy for my birthday) but another part wanted to mourn and dwell in the sadness-- But then I knew my mom wouldn't want that.

I'm grateful for the people who reminded me that life goes on. For the people who chose to take me out of that negative place and reminded me to always look at the bright side. To embrace my inner optimist again and LIVE.
So I spent my birthday with friends and relatives. My best friend went all the way to our house and met me at 11pm just to be able to be with me when the clock striked midnight. Then we visited my mom's grave and offered her flowers and a prayer. Then we had lunch at Tagaytay.

It felt weird.
But beautiful.

It was, in a word, bittersweet.

I miss my mom because there are things she used to do for my birthday that I didn't get to experience this year. But I don't want to dwell. I know she's looking down on me from heaven and reminding me to celebrate life! To choose to be happy.

Thank you mama for everything. This song is for you:

I miss you 
Like the sun misses the breeze
Like the ground consists of leaves 
Now I miss you 

pink blouse - So-En 
White petal shorts - R.A.F. by Plains & Prints 
brown strappy shoes - Parisian 
brown bag - Oleg Cassini

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