Saturday, September 7, 2013

Dating as a Job Interview

We're corporate girls and it's easy for us to take on a corporate mindset on everything-- even on seemingly personal activities such as dating.

It was a friend of mine who first floated the idea of dating to be seen as a job interview. He's a boy and he said that like in job interviews, girls should date boys to see if they fit the bill. That girls won't know if they would like the boy unless they GO OUT with them. What he said got me thinking. But instead of going into a lengthy discussion with him, I decided to do a blog post on it instead. So here goes a guide to approach dating as a job interview.

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Before the pointers, let me lay down the context first. GIRLS, you are the company seeking an "employee". BOYS, you are the applicants.

Post Openings - Like in most companies, girls should keep in mind that looking for a partner is not always a fated event, there's also effort involved in the search. When I mean effort, I mean girls should also take on a more welcoming vibe and if she really intends to get into a relationship, to be open to dating around. There are girls who consciously refuse to date because their love life is the least of their priorities-- and these are the girls who "do not have any job openings" as of the moment.

Set Minimum Standards - Different girls have different personalities; different needs; and different expectations. Like most job openings, there are set requirements that applicants must be able to comply with. I know, this part is debatable, but for the purpose of approaching this topic with a corporate mindset, let's assume that this aspect is essential. Personally, I've just recently learned the importance of this aspect. Girls should have minimum standards if they want to be in a lasting relationship. If outright, you don't think that guy would have a chance with you, why waste your time dating him? Say for example you're a Muslim (sorry can't think of any other religion) and you know your parents won't approve of you being with someone who is not Muslim, then why would you even date a Catholic? It's a waste of time! Set minimum requirements. Remember that girls, as the position being applied for, have expectations from the "applicant", so right off the bat, it is important that these standards be made known so you won't end up in a "job mismatch". It's also the same for the boys. Don't "apply" for a job if you're not really interested in it. It's one thing to be able to meet the requirements just for the sake of meeting the requirements, it's another thing to actually WANT and enjoy the job.

The Date - This is the actual "interview". Like most interviews, often times, it is the applicant who brings his A game. The girl (the employer) gets her chance to get to know the applicant more and vice versa. This is a very crucial part. For one, it is not only the girl, who gets to decide. The boy has a say too. I remember how I've been to a number of interviews where after hearing about the work, I'd decide to not pursue it anymore even if I get offered the job. Same with dating. Remember that it's a two way street. It just so happens that girls often have the upper hand because technically they are the "jobs" being sought.

Follow up - Most often, this part is the role of the boys. If you're interested in landing the job, you would follow up. Same case if you decide you don't want to pursue it anymore. You don't just disappear, you tell the company that you will no longer pursue your application. Same with the girl. You can't be indecisive for too long. You have to decide as well. If you think he is worth a second chance, go for a second date. Don't just ignore his calls/messages. It's just impolite.

Be patient - The interview is just the tip of the iceberg. We all know that there are so many other requirements you have to pass before you assume office. Same with dating. The first date does not assure you a second, or a third, or a fourth. It most certainly doesn't assure you that you'd end up getting the girl. Like looking for work, you have to be patient. Sometimes, even if the company is interested, there are other factors that prevent them from hiring you. Just be patient. If you really want that job, or that girl for that matter, you will not lose hope. You will wait until you get final word. Anything worth it, is worth the wait.

No to sour graping - If by any chance it doesn't work out, move on. Don't dwell too much on the failure. Remember, when one door closes, a window opens. Never be needy. Don't ever beg--especially for love. Not only will it reflect negatively on you, it will also not beneficial in the long run. It's like looking for a job. Your dream company may have refused you but it does not make you less of a person. Submit your resume elsewhere, you never know which company will see you as a perfect fit.

I don't know if this applies to everyone. I just found what my friend said interesting and I had too much input on it, I didn't think an oral explanation would suffice. Feel free to add to my list/ negate my points! :)

Here's to a successful "job" interview!

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